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»Funeral Recipe«

by Fay Mbiwa ThePoet, November 20, 2017

Red pepper
Flat shoes
Wrap round skirt (you might want to fall down)

Cut the onion into small pieces(remember not to wash it)
The pepper(we call it chillies), please please, do not remove the seeds.
Gently apply the onion and the pepper appropriately(as desired) around the eyes
Rub the robb/menthol around the nose and hands (this helps in producing a lot of water from the nose)
Remember, do not sneeze a lot (this will reduce the effects of the robb/menthol)

Put on flat shoes
Wrap the skirt around your waist (save us the embarrassment of seeing your under garments)
Do not eat any sugary food
Run towards the crowd (please, do not yell at this point)
Fall down and roll twice (carefully)

Stand up and hold your head (curses are important at this point)
Remember to be near the kitchen
You can now start wailing
Do not forget the names of your
Dead relatives at this point.

Gently rub another portion of the robb/menthol/onions/pepper as preferred (hoping you had hid them in a safe, cool and dry place)
Get ready for a steeplechase
As you will be circumnavigating the homestead

Do not overdo (there are others who need to be paid too)
On your marks, ready, GO!

Written: November 2017
Tags: Funny

The © Copyright to this poem is owned by the author.
Published by writerslounge.net on November 20, 2017 under courtesy of the author.

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